For the woman at work

Late last year, I had to complete a mentorship month as a requirement for my YALI training. The program allowed participants to personally choose who their mentor will be. At the time, I wanted to interact with more females in the work environment so I chose a female mentor. That was a decision that I am still very glad that I made.

At the time, I wasn’t sure what I will learn but I just knew I wanted a female. During the course of our sessions, we talked about several things all of which I can sum up to ‘a woman at work’. The progression of the sessions was fascinating for me as I learned new things and unlearned certain traits that I didn’t even realize were limiting me. I will be sharing some of those points here.

1. Hone Your Technical Skills

I chose to start with this because to excel in the workplace, you have to be competent in the skills you claim to have. As a woman, you may need to be better than your male peers who are in the same position. While this is unfair, you can leverage it to become the best you can possibly be in your field. It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. Keep honing your skills and deliver at a level that will keep people interested in your work.

2. Assertiveness Is A Necessary Trait

At my job, I led several teams of at least 3 people each. While that was not my first rodeo with leading people, it was the first time I was leading people who were older than me. I had also spent a shorter time at the company so all that made me somewhat uneasy about the role. I feared that taking a firm approach towards certain situations would come across as being rude or ‘bossy’.

Discussing this with my mentor, I found that the actions I wanted to take were not bossy at all. They were actually needed to meet set objectives and I had even presented them in the mildest way possible. This led to a discussion about assertiveness in the workplace as a woman. As a woman, you are expected to be soft and something a man will do and be seen as confident, you may do and be seen as ‘bossy’. As such, it is important to find your voice and learn to use it confidently. This may not come easy, but with practice, you get better. To learn more about being assertive, read this.

3. Be Emotional Intelligent

This is an equally important trait for the workplace which actually applies to everyone. Revenue Bar describes emotional intelligence as ‘an array of non-cognitive (emotional and social) capabilities, competencies, and skills that influence one’s ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures.’ Continuing from the last point, being emotionally intelligent can help reduce conflicts and achieve so much more. Another thing of importance here is being able to leverage your strengths and weaknesses. The more aware you are of them, the better you can utilise them both to achieve what you want.

In a bid to shine through as a woman at work, it is easy to actually go overboard without realizing it. What comes to mind here is Taraji P. Henson in ‘What Men Want’ mentioning that her behaviour would be acceptable if she was a man, meanwhile the men said she would have been termed an asshole if she was a man. In a bid to be assertive, it is important to be discerning, addressing matters appropriately. Here are 2 articles on emotional intelligence you can read up – what is emotional intelligence and how to improve it.

4. Find Female Role Models/Mentors

I mentioned that I was intentional about finding a female mentor. One of the reasons is because I have realized that there are nuances surrounding work and career that men may not understand, not because they don’t want to but because they just can’t relate to them. Thankfully, one can have more than one mentor so you are no restricted to having just a single person.

Having someone guide you as you advance in your career cannot be over emphasised. It is a necessary aspect of career growth. I believe more female leaders need to take on mentoring more young females to enable us to navigate the work environment. Finding a mentor can be daunting, so here’s an article that sheds some more light on how to go about this.

5. Personal Skills Are Just As Important As Technical Skills

This is to bring together the points previously mentioned. None of them works in isolation as technical skills work hand in hand with the personal skills mentioned. You can be the best at your work but a poor attitude can delay your rise in ranks. Some people even argue that personal skills are more important than technical skills. I think this may become true the higher one rises on the career ladder. Understanding the importance and the place of both skills will help deliver a great career experience.

These things take time, sometimes years, to fully imbibe. However, being conscious of them will ensure that fewer mistakes are made and you make the best of every year of your work life. I hope you found them helpful.

Here’s a summary of the points listed: