SISIKUNMI

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SISIKUNMI https://www.sisikunmi.com/ Live. Learn. Inspire Thu, 24 Oct 2024 21:53:43 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://www.sisikunmi.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/cropped-cropped-cropped-wp-1604087001228-1-32x32.png SISIKUNMI https://www.sisikunmi.com/ 32 32 Becoming an Oxonian: The one where I study at Oxford! https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/becoming-an-oxonian-the-one-where-i-study-at-oxford/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=becoming-an-oxonian-the-one-where-i-study-at-oxford https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/becoming-an-oxonian-the-one-where-i-study-at-oxford/#respond Thu, 24 Oct 2024 12:59:11 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=3970 For a while, I considered not sharing this milestone publicly – which is strange considering how much I love to share. Mostly because a part of me realises that an admission for an MSc is not an end in itself – you still have to study to get the degree. Also, successfully completing an MSc is not an automatic pass to a great career. But as I muse about the work ahead, I equally acknowledge that it’s okay to share bits of the journey as I go along. Not just for myself, but for the others that may be inspired. For the next 2 years, I’ll be studying for an MSc in Clinical Trials at the Nuffield Department of Population Health, University of Oxford! I’ve always wanted to go for postgraduate studies, and reading about the stories of others gave me confidence to pursue this dream not just at any place but at the Number 1 university in the world! Now, I think about what to write or share with prospective applicants and all I can think of is – just put in the work. My first scholarship attempt was for the 2021/2022 academic session. I applied for over 5 scholarships that year and did not get selected for any. It shook my self confidence in ways I didn’t anticipate. I’ve since learnt to handle failures better, and consider them redirections to something different – as I share in this post. In the years between 2021 and 2024, I prioritised personal survival career wise while ensuring I delivered at my best in each role I held – whether or not it felt like a ‘dream job’. I networked and have formed lovely relationships along the way – mentors turned to friends, co-applicants turned to family. In 2019 when I wrote my first 5 year career plan, I never envisaged studying at Oxford, yet alone on a full ride. Yet, here I am. I could never have written this story this way. There’s so much serendipity in life, and I believe the way to make it work in our favour is to stay prepared – by doing all that is within our power and resources. Some dreams can get delayed, or even tweaked from our original plan. The role we play is being prepared, doing the work, and keeping hope alive that the tapestry of our lives would be woven ever so beautifully in the end. The rest of this blog are thoughts I penned down to document my feelings as the months went by prior to resumption. I hope anyone reading this and aiming for something is not only inspired but also moved to take the needed actions to bring to reality those dreams they have. . . . June 2024 My first scholarship attempt was for the 2021/2022 academic session. Being very detail oriented and a top planner (sometimes 😅), I started prepping over a year prior – got my transcript ready, took necessary exams, reached out to past scholars, watched YouTube videos and read articles on personal statements and other needed write ups.I believed I had my arsenal ready and there was no way I would get rejected. I applied for over 5 scholarships that year and did not get selected for any. Prior to then, I had thought up different blog posts I would share on how to make scholarship applications. To say I was shattered by the rejections would be putting it mildly. I could not summon the strength to try again the following year. This year, I applied to only one program and while I really really desired funding. The application process was pretty straightforward, still, I had a lot of anxiety around it. It may have been residual effects from my last experience (I couldn’t bring myself to apply for post graduate studies after the 2021 season). But thankfully, I had an ‘arsenal’ of people around me. With tough love and soothing words when needed, they guided me towards submitting an application worthy of being shortlisted for an interview. When I was called for the interview, everyone around me thought it was a big deal except me. To me, it still wasn’t an assurance of anything just yet. (I now recognise that it still was a big deal considering that applying doesn’t automatically qualify you for an interview). Then I got a conditional offer and everyone thought it was a big deal (again). But somehow, I still couldn’t muster excitement. I remember being out at the time and I had no emotion – I felt blank. There were some other opportunities I wanted at the time which were not coming through so I think that dampened my mood more than I thought it would. Some months after, I got upgraded to an unconditional offer AND got a fully-funded scholarship. I was sufficiently over the events of Q12024 so this time I was elated. But while I screamed and was super excited for this very generous financial support, my mind immediately went to thinking about how hard an MSc is. Let alone an MSc at Oxford while working a full-time job alongside other commitments. It took a few weeks and my friend HassyTee consistently posting about succumbing to joy when it presents itself because sadness will ask for no invite. I sometimes downplay how much effort I put into work but I’m thankful I have friends and mentors who have a front row seat to my life and remind me that I worked for this! And I’m deserving of this merit award and the overall progress I experience in my career. So this is me basking in this moment of intense joy. I’m an Oxford scholar! On a full ride! An Oxonian fr! Whoop whoop 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 PS: I printed out the scholarship offer letter on the day just so I could believe it was real 😅 I may frame it 🤭🙈 . . . October 2024 It’s been a few weeks since resumption. And it’s been overwhelming. But it has also been exciting. And inspiring. It’s a pot of multiple emotions and experiences, and I’m doing my best (with the help of friends) to hold on to the positives and go through this process with grace. Cheers to the next 2 years! 🎉🎉 Xoxo, Sisikunmi

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/becoming-an-oxonian-the-one-where-i-study-at-oxford/feed/ 0 2023: Year in Review https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/2023-year-in-review/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=2023-year-in-review https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/2023-year-in-review/#respond Sun, 31 Dec 2023 21:36:34 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=3962 To properly summarise the year, I'd have to talk about the year in its entirety, beyond my observations. Since I'm pressed for time, I'll compress this into 2 parts - work and life. It feels ironic though, because work is a big part of our life which makes compartmentalising work and life feel weird. But let's allow this categorisation so this post doesn't delve into a different realm.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/2023-year-in-review/feed/ 0 Maintaining the pose of Thanksgiving https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving/#respond Wed, 31 May 2023 21:25:25 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=3952 I wrote this up in the notes app on my phone in early March but just getting around to posting it. A lot has happened since then and all my grand plans for the year haven’t exactly gone to plan but I am grateful to still be able to maintain a pose of Thanksgiving regardless. . . . On the morning that I shared the ‘testimony’ about my YouTube premium subscription, I was on a train going somewhere. After posting, I got on a call with one of my egbons. It was a long overdue call and I thought I could just take it on the train. But we somehow just kept chatting away and I didn’t realize when I passed the stop I was to change at. By the time I realised, it was too late. And because it’s not keke or danfo or a car that can turn around, there was nothing I could do. I saw the train manager and we started discussing options. After all the shalaye, the only available options involved me buying a new ticket. This sucked because I had paid the full fare for my train to my final destination. These were the options: It all didn’t make sense to me. The coach was practically empty so I could have been left alone. Thinking about it now, maybe I shouldn’t have called his attention to the fact that I missed my stop. Because he had checked my ticket earlier so he wouldn’t have checked it again. But that’s the fraudulent behavior we are trying to do away with in Nigeria. Anyway, I eventually paid the hooge sum and made my journey. What struck me was the fact that my very first thought was – thank God I have the card that has money in it on me. And second thought – thank God for provision. I kinda want to say it was the devil’s plan to shift me from Thanksgiving to being upset but I’m also like random things happen in life and we shouldn’t give the devil too much credit. Whichever way, it fenced in Thanksgiving. It’s not like the money didn’t pain me. There’s so much I could have used it for. But there was no point whining about it. My lesson is to pay more attention and if possible set an alarm so if I’m chatting or on a call, I am alert to my stop. The lesson doesn’t change the fact that I had to part with the money. It just helps me better cope and be grateful that I could afford to make the payment.✨ The above was written at 11:04 am. I thought I had been tested enough for the day but appaz more was in front. So, my destination from Derby was Stansted Airport. I was going on a weekend trip. I got to Stansted at about 11:30 am. After making my way through to the check-in point, I realised that I left my passport and BRP in my room😂😂 the only thing I could do was laugh. And then I cried. And then I started searching for possible flights for the next day. I I eventually sat at a restaurant in the airport, brought out my laptop, and just kept working until the time for my train back home. I didn’t even go straight home. I went to a friend’s place first because I just wanted to rest and be happy for a bit before I face the reality of my situation. I eventually made it to Greece sha. And you see the post on that here. This second time, it was so hard to ‘maintain the pose of Thanksgiving’. I kept wondering how I could have been so forgetful and careless about several things in the same day. But I tried to not dwell too much. Soooo, on getting back to the UK, I realized that I didn’t book a train from Gatwick to my city. I had a train booked from Luton but seeing as I had to change flights, that was invalid. So I spent another unplanned sum. I decided to make a tour of London as well while at it. I prefer not to recount how much this ‘budget’ trip eventually cost me. So I am taking this all as a lesson in endurance and all those other motivational stuff. I’m accepting donations to compensate for the money I spent on this trip. T for thanks. Stay joyful,Sisikunmi

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving/feed/ 0 New year resolutions: the role of serendipity https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity/#comments Mon, 09 Jan 2023 05:11:48 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2841 Ever so often, we lay down ambitious plans, charting our pathways to get to where we envision ourselves. This is particularly so for very ambitious people - you see the end goal you want and you lay years-long plans to accomplish it. What most of us fail to account for is serendipity, luck, chance and the complete randomness of life. I'll use my current career path as a case study. Come with me.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity/feed/ 5 The Gift of People – we all need this https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this/#comments Sat, 12 Nov 2022 10:51:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2823 I wrote the above post because I genuinely was hopeful at that point that everything will work out. It is still 'fascinating' how the 180 happened.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this/feed/ 4 Friendships that hold you up https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/friendships-that-hold-you-up/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=friendships-that-hold-you-up https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/friendships-that-hold-you-up/#comments Sun, 19 Sep 2021 22:14:17 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2838 If you have been following my posts since after February of this year, you’d know that the year has been the ghetto. As much as I’ve tried to hold on and make it through it all as the power to move forward lies primarily with me, I’ve had to rely A LOT on my friends. I wrote earlier in the year about building great friendships and being grateful for having great friends. Little did I know that I would need them intensely in this phase of my life. So, this post is dedicated to my friends who have held me up in these times. I initially wanted to list out everyone and the role they played. But that’d make for a long list. I also later decided that it’s probably more personal and I could share with them individually. In some cases, they didn’t even know that they were holding me up because it was in very little things. Like reassurance, or reminding me of God’s love or just affirming me. I’m really really thankful for them. As someone said, doing life alone is suicidal. I’m thankful that I haven’t been alone. I have relied on the strength of my friends and they kept me above the waters in their ways. The ultimate friend of this year was/is God. He is the ultimate help of all time. I forgot that I had him. Or maybe I never knew I had him in the first place. In the past weeks, I’ve come into a new understanding of him and it really could have only been possible because of his grace. It’s been incredible. I thought nothing good could come of this year but I was wrong. And I am grateful that I was. He has turned this year around in a way I could have never imagined. In most ways this is a confession of faith as everything doesn’t look perfect yet. But I know that EVERYTHING IS PERFECT, even though it may not look it. I am thankful. So no grand post or insights for today. Just me being grateful, Sisikunmi.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/friendships-that-hold-you-up/feed/ 2 ‘Died by suicide’ – Reviewing our phrases around suicide https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide/#comments Sun, 12 Sep 2021 15:55:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2831 September 10 was World Suicide Prevention Day and so I thought to tailor this post around that. I wasn’t so sure what to write though. I still am not but hoping that by the time this post ends, I would have come up with something coherent. As we go into a more ‘politically correct’ world, several terms are being reviewed. While some seem cringe to me, others make more sense and I personally do not mind adopting them. One of such is the rephrasing of ‘committed suicide’ to ‘die by suicide’. The first time I came across this, I didn’t see the big deal. It felt like, the person killed themself and so why does it matter so much how that is presented. But more and more it has dawned on me that it is not that simple. ‘Committed suicide’ denotes a crime. The word ‘committed’ is typically used in relation to crimes. And we see this attempt at making suicide a crime clearly in the laws of some countries. Where someone who survives an attempt at killing themself is sentenced to prison. I wonder how this makes any sense to those who made the law. ‘Died by suicide’ is an attempt at removing that criminal aspect that is associated with suicide. Because suicide is not a crime. It acknowledges that they died by killing themself, but does not imply a crime. Several things lead to a person deciding to kill themself. If anything, a suicidal person (or someone who has made an attempt) needs help than accusation. Sometimes it may not make sense why they have decided to take that route, but being empathetic and less judgmental may have a great impact on how suicide is perceived. While the person that has died has died, the way suicide is perceived can help those who are still alive. No matter what the reason is, for a person to be pushed to suicide must take a lot from them, mentally and otherwise. Empathising and assuring them that whatever is going on is not their fault can do some good. As we go on into the year, let’s remember to be sensitive with our words and take a step back to think about what it can connote. Mental Health is a real aspect of overall human health, and I am glad that it is getting more attention.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide/feed/ 1 I quit my job and went on a vacation https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation/#comments Wed, 01 Sep 2021 08:40:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2808 Dramatic headline, I know. It got you to open this so mission accomplished. Lol. So, I came up that title the day I decided that I was going to resign from my last job. I did not have another offer on the table at the time but I knew it was time to move on. I also wanted to take a pampered break after. I was actually worried because typical advice is to have an offer in hand before leaving a job. I guess that’s why it’s just advice sha. Yh, it helps. But there are some situations where it can’t be applied. Also, on my part it appeared as though my decision to resign triggered some offers. It then seemed like I had a ‘good’ problem. I’m still somewhat in that process of deciding where to settle for now so I am praying for wisdom to make the right choice (please pray along abeg). I know that this could have turned out way differently. Plus, I don’t or won’t even fully know how this is turning out until I’m months down the line. Anywho, lemme not overthink this part and just flow. My plan was to resign, and then go for a short vacation locally. However, that didn’t (or hasn’t) happened yet. I didn’t want to go on this break alone. I wanted to go with a couple of friends because I genuinely didn’t want to be left alone with my thoughts. Stuff came up (typical adulting) and my friends couldn’t make the trip any more, so I have put it on hold for now. Also, I got a temp job in the final days of my notice to my former employer, so I am not exactly as free as I thought I would be. I still want to take that break though. I actually need to take the break. A new friend has accused me of being a nerd with no time for anything else. In his words, all I do is ‘work, research, write’ on repeat. Lol. This is not exactly true sha but I know I have to slow down small even as I’m trying to achieve more. Here are some of the things I’ve learned over the past momths: The fact that something worked for someone doesn’t mean it will work for you in exactly the same way. Life is random. There are some factors we can’t account for. There’s no silver bullet that sorts life out. We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other while making the best of currently available information. There’s a need for regular reviews of plans for our life. Sometimes, detours would have to be made based on the current landscape and that is fine as long as the destination stays in focus. In some cases, the destination also changes. That is fine too, as long as the change didn’t just fall upon us but we had some agency in allowing the change happen. Looking forward to what the next phase holds. I still need that vacation though, so if you can plug a sis that would be more than welcome! 😁😁 Have a splendid September!, Sisikunmi P. S.: There were 5 Sundays in August and I published 5 posts! Even though I didn’t publish all on Sundays, I’m still super excited that I was able to meet the quota. I’m glad I chose to start this and have been consistent even when I don’t feel like it. 😊

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation/feed/ 2 The Battlefield of the Mind https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/the-battlefield-of-the-mind/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-battlefield-of-the-mind https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/the-battlefield-of-the-mind/#comments Tue, 31 Aug 2021 14:41:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2807 Last week, I wrote about choosing to believe. It’s been a rollercoaster. An important aspect of choosing to believe despite odds is the mindset. I have realized this much more this week as I navigated life and all that comes with it. A lot really goes on in the mind. In a bid to recenter my mind, I spent the week listening to some recordings of Joyce Meyer, the author of the Battlefield of the mind. The woman was actually brutal in her teachings. Lol, I spent a good while laughing as I felt subbed at several points in the tape. One point that Joyce emphasized severally was how this ‘battle’ is a continuous process. It is easy to feel energized in the few hours after listening, and I did. But the real test of understanding is in the days and weeks after. And I was tested. I passed on some days and failed on others. But I keep pushing. ‘We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.’ The quote above is one that a friend posts regularly on his status. And it has made much more sense in this period. I laugh at myself sometimes when, after stressing and thinking over a ‘simple’ thing, it ends up going way easier than I had pictured. We truly suffer more in our imaginations. Some of these stem from overthinking. Although this may have some pros as it can allow us to avoid certain mistakes, I have found that it may have more cons. It’s ‘overthinking’ that can make one dwell endlessly on either a thought or a task without making much progress. While Joyce Meyer is a Christian preacher, making her book fall under the ‘Christian books’ category, I believe the book has general lessons that can be applied by anyone. Here are some quotes/tips that I think stand out: Our past may explain why we’re suffering but we must not use it as an excuse to stay in bondage. You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind. One of the greatest revelations of my life is: I can choose my thoughts and think things on purpose. In other words, I don’t have to just think about whatever falls into my mind. You can suffer the pain of change or suffer remaining the way you are. You’re not crazy if you talk to yourself. In fact, your thoughts are “talking” to you all the time. And the way you talk to yourself is one of the most important things in your life. You can never get beyond what you think—especially what you think of yourself If you only do what is easy, you will always remain weak. Positive thinking doesn’t just happen. It’s something you have to do on purpose. Anytime we step out boldly to make changes, we take a chance that we might fail. But the only way to get better is to try. Winning the battle in the mind is a continuous one, not a one-off. I’d say it’s like a war with multiple battles that we fight through our lives. It’s not enough that we won it last year, we must win it today. And tomorrow. And every other day after. To positive thinking, Sisikunmi

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/the-battlefield-of-the-mind/feed/ 2 Choosing to believe… https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/choosing-to-believe/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=choosing-to-believe https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/choosing-to-believe/#comments Fri, 20 Aug 2021 12:43:22 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2800 My first thought on waking up this morning was, ‘it’s just about 4 months to 2022’. In many ways, the past few months have been a blur. It’s hard to imagine that so much time has passed since January 1st, 2021 when I sprained my ankle while playing ‘Twistas’ at an end-of-the-year/crossover game night with a couple of friends. Despite that, I still recognise and feel how long this year has been. It has felt like an endless stretch of time and for the most part, I have just wanted it to end. I clearly remember cancelling the entire year right from the beginning of the second quarter. I was that fed up. Now, I can clearly recognise that I have been disillusioned by a lot of recent happenings. A friend I hadn’t spoken to in almost a year pointed that out when we met recently and more and more I am seeing how right they are. I am working to re-centre myself and that includes recognising the possibilities that are in each day. So contrary to my earlier declaration, I am choosing to affirm that positive changes can still happen this year. There are over a hundred days left and each one of those days is an opportunity. Believing this is not coming easily because I truly cannot see how it would pan out. I also have a lot of simulations going on and picking a path seems daunting. But again, I am choosing to believe. Cheers to the remaining 131 days of 2021!, Sisikunmi P.S: I wasn’t sure what this post will be about when I started typing. In some ways, it seems similar to my first post since starting this weekly updates. I wonder if I am hammering on it too much, but it doesn’t really matter; some things need repeating. I have found that when I write for pleasure, it’s almost impossible for me to write outside how I feel. Faking it till I make it doesn’t work here.

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