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Musings Archives - SISIKUNMI https://www.sisikunmi.com/category/musings/ Live. Learn. Inspire Sun, 31 Dec 2023 21:47:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://www.sisikunmi.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/cropped-cropped-cropped-wp-1604087001228-1-32x32.png Musings Archives - SISIKUNMI https://www.sisikunmi.com/category/musings/ 32 32 2023: Year in Review https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/2023-year-in-review/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=2023-year-in-review https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/2023-year-in-review/#respond Sun, 31 Dec 2023 21:36:34 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=3962 To properly summarise the year, I'd have to talk about the year in its entirety, beyond my observations. Since I'm pressed for time, I'll compress this into 2 parts - work and life. It feels ironic though, because work is a big part of our life which makes compartmentalising work and life feel weird. But let's allow this categorisation so this post doesn't delve into a different realm.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/2023-year-in-review/feed/ 0 Maintaining the pose of Thanksgiving https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving/#respond Wed, 31 May 2023 21:25:25 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=3952 I wrote this up in the notes app on my phone in early March but just getting around to posting it. A lot has happened since then and all my grand plans for the year haven’t exactly gone to plan but I am grateful to still be able to maintain a pose of Thanksgiving regardless. . . . On the morning that I shared the ‘testimony’ about my YouTube premium subscription, I was on a train going somewhere. After posting, I got on a call with one of my egbons. It was a long overdue call and I thought I could just take it on the train. But we somehow just kept chatting away and I didn’t realize when I passed the stop I was to change at. By the time I realised, it was too late. And because it’s not keke or danfo or a car that can turn around, there was nothing I could do. I saw the train manager and we started discussing options. After all the shalaye, the only available options involved me buying a new ticket. This sucked because I had paid the full fare for my train to my final destination. These were the options: It all didn’t make sense to me. The coach was practically empty so I could have been left alone. Thinking about it now, maybe I shouldn’t have called his attention to the fact that I missed my stop. Because he had checked my ticket earlier so he wouldn’t have checked it again. But that’s the fraudulent behavior we are trying to do away with in Nigeria. Anyway, I eventually paid the hooge sum and made my journey. What struck me was the fact that my very first thought was – thank God I have the card that has money in it on me. And second thought – thank God for provision. I kinda want to say it was the devil’s plan to shift me from Thanksgiving to being upset but I’m also like random things happen in life and we shouldn’t give the devil too much credit. Whichever way, it fenced in Thanksgiving. It’s not like the money didn’t pain me. There’s so much I could have used it for. But there was no point whining about it. My lesson is to pay more attention and if possible set an alarm so if I’m chatting or on a call, I am alert to my stop. The lesson doesn’t change the fact that I had to part with the money. It just helps me better cope and be grateful that I could afford to make the payment.✨ The above was written at 11:04 am. I thought I had been tested enough for the day but appaz more was in front. So, my destination from Derby was Stansted Airport. I was going on a weekend trip. I got to Stansted at about 11:30 am. After making my way through to the check-in point, I realised that I left my passport and BRP in my roomπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ the only thing I could do was laugh. And then I cried. And then I started searching for possible flights for the next day. I I eventually sat at a restaurant in the airport, brought out my laptop, and just kept working until the time for my train back home. I didn’t even go straight home. I went to a friend’s place first because I just wanted to rest and be happy for a bit before I face the reality of my situation. I eventually made it to Greece sha. And you see the post on that here. This second time, it was so hard to ‘maintain the pose of Thanksgiving’. I kept wondering how I could have been so forgetful and careless about several things in the same day. But I tried to not dwell too much. Soooo, on getting back to the UK, I realized that I didn’t book a train from Gatwick to my city. I had a train booked from Luton but seeing as I had to change flights, that was invalid. So I spent another unplanned sum. I decided to make a tour of London as well while at it. I prefer not to recount how much this ‘budget’ trip eventually cost me. So I am taking this all as a lesson in endurance and all those other motivational stuff. I’m accepting donations to compensate for the money I spent on this trip. T for thanks. Stay joyful,Sisikunmi

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/maintaining-the-pose-of-thanksgiving/feed/ 0 New year resolutions: the role of serendipity https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity/#comments Mon, 09 Jan 2023 05:11:48 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2841 Ever so often, we lay down ambitious plans, charting our pathways to get to where we envision ourselves. This is particularly so for very ambitious people - you see the end goal you want and you lay years-long plans to accomplish it. What most of us fail to account for is serendipity, luck, chance and the complete randomness of life. I'll use my current career path as a case study. Come with me.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/career/new-year-resolutions-the-role-of-serendipity/feed/ 5 The Gift of People – we all need this https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this/#comments Sat, 12 Nov 2022 10:51:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2823 I wrote the above post because I genuinely was hopeful at that point that everything will work out. It is still 'fascinating' how the 180 happened.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/this-gift-of-people-we-all-need-this/feed/ 4 Friendships that hold you up https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/friendships-that-hold-you-up/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=friendships-that-hold-you-up https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/friendships-that-hold-you-up/#comments Sun, 19 Sep 2021 22:14:17 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2838 If you have been following my posts since after February of this year, you’d know that the year has been the ghetto. As much as I’ve tried to hold on and make it through it all as the power to move forward lies primarily with me, I’ve had to rely A LOT on my friends. I wrote earlier in the year about building great friendships and being grateful for having great friends. Little did I know that I would need them intensely in this phase of my life. So, this post is dedicated to my friends who have held me up in these times. I initially wanted to list out everyone and the role they played. But that’d make for a long list. I also later decided that it’s probably more personal and I could share with them individually. In some cases, they didn’t even know that they were holding me up because it was in very little things. Like reassurance, or reminding me of God’s love or just affirming me. I’m really really thankful for them. As someone said, doing life alone is suicidal. I’m thankful that I haven’t been alone. I have relied on the strength of my friends and they kept me above the waters in their ways. The ultimate friend of this year was/is God. He is the ultimate help of all time. I forgot that I had him. Or maybe I never knew I had him in the first place. In the past weeks, I’ve come into a new understanding of him and it really could have only been possible because of his grace. It’s been incredible. I thought nothing good could come of this year but I was wrong. And I am grateful that I was. He has turned this year around in a way I could have never imagined. In most ways this is a confession of faith as everything doesn’t look perfect yet. But I know that EVERYTHING IS PERFECT, even though it may not look it. I am thankful. So no grand post or insights for today. Just me being grateful, Sisikunmi.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/friendships-that-hold-you-up/feed/ 2 ‘Died by suicide’ – Reviewing our phrases around suicide https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide/#comments Sun, 12 Sep 2021 15:55:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2831 September 10 was World Suicide Prevention Day and so I thought to tailor this post around that. I wasn’t so sure what to write though. I still am not but hoping that by the time this post ends, I would have come up with something coherent. As we go into a more ‘politically correct’ world, several terms are being reviewed. While some seem cringe to me, others make more sense and I personally do not mind adopting them. One of such is the rephrasing of ‘committed suicide’ to ‘die by suicide’. The first time I came across this, I didn’t see the big deal. It felt like, the person killed themself and so why does it matter so much how that is presented. But more and more it has dawned on me that it is not that simple. ‘Committed suicide’ denotes a crime. The word ‘committed’ is typically used in relation to crimes. And we see this attempt at making suicide a crime clearly in the laws of some countries. Where someone who survives an attempt at killing themself is sentenced to prison. I wonder how this makes any sense to those who made the law. ‘Died by suicide’ is an attempt at removing that criminal aspect that is associated with suicide. Because suicide is not a crime. It acknowledges that they died by killing themself, but does not imply a crime. Several things lead to a person deciding to kill themself. If anything, a suicidal person (or someone who has made an attempt) needs help than accusation. Sometimes it may not make sense why they have decided to take that route, but being empathetic and less judgmental may have a great impact on how suicide is perceived. While the person that has died has died, the way suicide is perceived can help those who are still alive. No matter what the reason is, for a person to be pushed to suicide must take a lot from them, mentally and otherwise. Empathising and assuring them that whatever is going on is not their fault can do some good. As we go on into the year, let’s remember to be sensitive with our words and take a step back to think about what it can connote. Mental Health is a real aspect of overall human health, and I am glad that it is getting more attention.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/died-by-suicide-reviewing-our-phrases-around-suicide/feed/ 1 I quit my job and went on a vacation https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation/#comments Wed, 01 Sep 2021 08:40:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2808 Dramatic headline, I know. It got you to open this so mission accomplished. Lol. So, I came up that title the day I decided that I was going to resign from my last job. I did not have another offer on the table at the time but I knew it was time to move on. I also wanted to take a pampered break after. I was actually worried because typical advice is to have an offer in hand before leaving a job. I guess that’s why it’s just advice sha. Yh, it helps. But there are some situations where it can’t be applied. Also, on my part it appeared as though my decision to resign triggered some offers. It then seemed like I had a ‘good’ problem. I’m still somewhat in that process of deciding where to settle for now so I am praying for wisdom to make the right choice (please pray along abeg). I know that this could have turned out way differently. Plus, I don’t or won’t even fully know how this is turning out until I’m months down the line. Anywho, lemme not overthink this part and just flow. My plan was to resign, and then go for a short vacation locally. However, that didn’t (or hasn’t) happened yet. I didn’t want to go on this break alone. I wanted to go with a couple of friends because I genuinely didn’t want to be left alone with my thoughts. Stuff came up (typical adulting) and my friends couldn’t make the trip any more, so I have put it on hold for now. Also, I got a temp job in the final days of my notice to my former employer, so I am not exactly as free as I thought I would be. I still want to take that break though. I actually need to take the break. A new friend has accused me of being a nerd with no time for anything else. In his words, all I do is ‘work, research, write’ on repeat. Lol. This is not exactly true sha but I know I have to slow down small even as I’m trying to achieve more. Here are some of the things I’ve learned over the past momths: The fact that something worked for someone doesn’t mean it will work for you in exactly the same way. Life is random. There are some factors we can’t account for. There’s no silver bullet that sorts life out. We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other while making the best of currently available information. There’s a need for regular reviews of plans for our life. Sometimes, detours would have to be made based on the current landscape and that is fine as long as the destination stays in focus. In some cases, the destination also changes. That is fine too, as long as the change didn’t just fall upon us but we had some agency in allowing the change happen. Looking forward to what the next phase holds. I still need that vacation though, so if you can plug a sis that would be more than welcome! 😁😁 Have a splendid September!, Sisikunmi P. S.: There were 5 Sundays in August and I published 5 posts! Even though I didn’t publish all on Sundays, I’m still super excited that I was able to meet the quota. I’m glad I chose to start this and have been consistent even when I don’t feel like it. 😊

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/lifestyle/i-quit-my-job-and-went-on-a-vacation/feed/ 2 Choosing to believe… https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/choosing-to-believe/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=choosing-to-believe https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/choosing-to-believe/#comments Fri, 20 Aug 2021 12:43:22 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2800 My first thought on waking up this morning was, ‘it’s just about 4 months to 2022’. In many ways, the past few months have been a blur. It’s hard to imagine that so much time has passed since January 1st, 2021 when I sprained my ankle while playing ‘Twistas’ at an end-of-the-year/crossover game night with a couple of friends. Despite that, I still recognise and feel how long this year has been. It has felt like an endless stretch of time and for the most part, I have just wanted it to end. I clearly remember cancelling the entire year right from the beginning of the second quarter. I was that fed up. Now, I can clearly recognise that I have been disillusioned by a lot of recent happenings. A friend I hadn’t spoken to in almost a year pointed that out when we met recently and more and more I am seeing how right they are. I am working to re-centre myself and that includes recognising the possibilities that are in each day. So contrary to my earlier declaration, I am choosing to affirm that positive changes can still happen this year. There are over a hundred days left and each one of those days is an opportunity. Believing this is not coming easily because I truly cannot see how it would pan out. I also have a lot of simulations going on and picking a path seems daunting. But again, I am choosing to believe. Cheers to the remaining 131 days of 2021!, Sisikunmi P.S: I wasn’t sure what this post will be about when I started typing. In some ways, it seems similar to my first post since starting this weekly updates. I wonder if I am hammering on it too much, but it doesn’t really matter; some things need repeating. I have found that when I write for pleasure, it’s almost impossible for me to write outside how I feel. Faking it till I make it doesn’t work here.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/choosing-to-believe/feed/ 6 Why is it easier to give others advice? https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/why-is-it-easier-to-give-others-advice/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=why-is-it-easier-to-give-others-advice https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/why-is-it-easier-to-give-others-advice/#respond Sun, 15 Aug 2021 23:46:33 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2793 It’s another Sunday! I have kept my weekly commitment to posting for about four weeks in a row now and that’s great! Looking back, I realise that if I didn’t start then, 4 weeks would have gone by and I still wouldn’t have gotten around to writing. I am finding that picking a topic to write about has been one of the most daunting things so far. There’s the picking a topic to write about, and then choosing what title the post should have. Honestly, sometimes I really just want to publish without a title, but I am not sure how that would go. Thankfully, I am not optimising these posts for SEO I can get away with not stressing about it. During the week, I had something in mind to post about but sitting here and typing, I really cannot recall it. I should do better with my random documentation so I can easily access my random ideas. In lieu of that, I’d share a bit of what’s on my mind today. On Saturday, I gave a talk to a group of people. A friend had invited me months back to be a guest and I agreed to it. Few days to the event, I found myself panicking about it; the reason being the topic I was to speak on is an area that I have struggled with personally and am still navigating. I was able to keep it together and body my presentation as the badass that I am (*winks). The whole process got me thinking – why is it easier to give others advice than to act on said advice? My first answer to the question is ‘things are easier said than done’. However, I know that alone does not answer the question so I did some search and came across a study that termed this scenario Solomon’s Paradox, mirroring the story of Solomon in the Bible. In the study, they found that when people were exploring a friend’s problem, they were more likely to consider several options and admit limited knowledge. The same pattern showed when participants used first-person pronouns (I, me) to describe a situation – they had a tendency to not recognise their limited knowledge or consider other perspectives. The study also highlighted that this phenomenon was found across age groups, and did not reduce with increasing age. To overcome Solomon’s Paradox, the article/study suggested self-distancing when we need to give ourselves advice. (It also mentioned that the specific situation may determine our response). The idea is that this helps us assess situations more objectively. I will be putting that to practice more over the next couple of days to weeks and if I do see results, it would become a more present part of my process. Cheers to making better decisions and taking our own advice, Sisikunmi.

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]]> https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/why-is-it-easier-to-give-others-advice/feed/ 0 Stories, Choices and the Randomness of Life https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/stories-choices-and-the-randomness-of-life/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=stories-choices-and-the-randomness-of-life https://www.sisikunmi.com/musings/stories-choices-and-the-randomness-of-life/#respond Tue, 10 Aug 2021 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.sisikunmi.com/?p=2783 Have you ever thought about the fact that we are all writing a story with our lives? Well, in the real sense of it we can say we are living our lives and trying to make sense of it by piecing all the different parts to make a story. But is it really a story if, as Steve Jobs said, the dots only connect when looking back? In the past week, I have been thinking a bit more about life stories. At the beginning of the week, a friend started a new job at a company he has always wanted to work at. And even though he tries to downplay it, it is a story of resilience and consistency and it was actually inspiring to me. In retrospect, it seems everything added up and all the sacrifices paid off. But it’s also possible that the story could have progressed differently. Later in the same week, news broke about a chef in Abuja who was murdered in his home. As I read more about the news, I saw a Twitter thread that one of the Chef’s friends made about 2 years ago. In the thread, the Chef had gone through a couple of rough times, from his house being burnt to being held unjustly by the Nigerian Police. At the time of the thread, the Chef was getting back on his feet and things were looking up. And then he was murdered. Reading through the thread had me in my feelings because one would have expected things to keep getting better and for a better end to his story. All of this got me thinking that maybe the things that happen to us are unrelated in themselves, but because as humans we need explanations for events so we ascribe B happening to the fact that we did A years back. This is not to say that actions/choices don’t have consequences, just that sometimes we can’t accurately predict the outcomes of our lives. All we can really do is act now, and do what we think is best given all available facts. It’s all we can control in the randomness that exists on this side of life. Hoping for a vastly productive week, Sisikunmi.

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